Forgive and... let go... eventually.

Yesterday morning I had the privilege of listening to a lecture on anger. Or at least what I thought was going to be on anger. After an acknowledgement of the "tip of the iceberg" principle that describes anger, the speaker moved to forgiveness. What a great move! But I was shocked. We don't usually go there. For the victim or the perpetrator. The one who hurts or the one who is hurt.


He went on to explain that we need to. We need to get rid of the notion that we can forgive and forget. We can hope to do the work of forgiving and eventually letting go. Forgive and forget is a pipe dream. Only God does that. Only God CAN do that. He used a great metaphor to illustrate what he was talking about with the letting go. He said that if you are harboring that anger, resentment or bitterness for very long you can seem like you are getting on with life but at best you have a stake driven through your shoe into the ground and you cannot go very far. You can turn around in circles but there is no moving on. You are stuck. And the worst part is that the anger, bitterness and resentment just continues to grow...


I love that metaphor. Not resolving the roots of anger can do that. Unforgiveness can do that. The speaker went on to talk about dealing with hurts that won't go away. They are quite possibly the roots of anger.It could also be expectations that are unrealistic or unfulfilled. Or, needs that are unmet... hmmmmm. Do any of these ring a bell? Do you need to addrress your anger? Do you need to offer forgiveness even when someone else isn't asking for it or is deserving of it? Do it anyway. Or at least start the process of trying to  to do it. It may take a while and you may need help along the way.


It was good to hear this yesterday. Anger can be something that festers and boils under the surface feeding the bitterness monster inside you or it can be a constant battle with explosions that destroys everything around you. Unforgiveness is one of the roots here. Contact me if you need to work on this.

New business! New website! New blog!

Hey everyone, things have changed for me recently and I am starting this blog again. I have begun a counseling business in Colorado Springs and I am looking forward to this new venture. I'm also starting a new website. I will be updating this blog with everyday stuff like before plus a new one on the new site (more related to counseling topics) from time to time.

Spread the news! You can also follow me on Twitter and FaceBook.

Time to get writing again.

... and remembering how fun it is to be nine years old...

(Wow, has it been that long since I... sigh... oh well...)

Nine years old. No responsibilities. Period. Well, that is if you don't count getting out of bed, feeding her fish and watching whatever she has recorded on our DVR this week. Hmmm... do I watch the SpongeBob movie again, for the 100th time? Or that episode of Hannah Montana that I missed this week because I was swimming at the pool with my friends. Like I said, no responsibilities. Whatsoever. There's my youngest daughter's week last week... (the adjacent picture is just so representative of the young one...)

I remember being nine. It was 1972. I awoke to each morning with new ideas of how my friends and I could play with our G.I. Joes. Or what trail we were going to race our bikes (yes, complete with banana seats!) in the open spaces near our outlying subdivision (basically the center of town now). What fun. I didn't watch much TV; I was outside until dark everyday during that summer. The two "most-fun" times though were going on vacation to the North and fishing with my dad (always a great memory), and being with my 20 year old brother who lived at home while at college. Seeing his ever-changing facial hair; hanging out with him playing pinball at the arcade. No video games yet, just old-school pinball. He was the pinball master. Still has one in his basement at age 54!

OK, to the point: This next week marks a week that my nine year old has looked forward to since last year when we did the same thing. Older brother and sister and Mom are going to Mexico on a mission trip with our youth group. That leaves nine year old with dad for nine days. Don't get me wrong, this is fun for me too! This year, she has a list. A list of things to do. I won't share them with you. You can only imagine...

I had to make one suggestion when she was coming up with the list: there had to be some free (or relatively inexpensive) things on this to balance out the others. She asked for examples, I gave her a few and then she came up with some on her own. I'll let you all in on some of our excursions after next week. Should be fun, though. It's supposed to hot enough for us to go swimming in our neighborhood pool and not freeze like last year. That may be the only thing we do if it gets too hot! It's just fun being with a nine year old. Especially one that likes being with her old dad. At least that's what I think she's thinking and what I am going to go on believing!

Eat This Book 3

The post today is going to be a little on the short side but maybe some of this stuff about reading Scripture in a new way takes a little while to sink in...

Just picking up on a little bit of a theme from yesterday, I want to suggest a few things.

1. Read with purpose.

2. Do some background study on setting, criticisms, commentaries already out there...

3. Take notes.

4. Ask questions.

5. Ask more questions.

*6. Let the passage work on you for a few days then read it again.

* 7. Pray. Before reading. After reading. Pray.

See if some of these suggestions jumpstart your Bible reading...

Tomorrow, I will suggest some helpful resources to have or consult regarding what you are reading.

Eat This Book 2

Today I want to focus on resources for daily Bible reading that are out there: As you can see below, here are just a few. Do a Google search on your own and find one you like. The important thing to remember is that there are a ton of great references online. There are also some that are not very helpful. Use discernment!

http://www.bibleplan.org/

http://www.oneyearbibleblog.com/

http://www.biblegateway.com/resources/readingplans/

http://www.heartlight.org/devotionals/reading_plans/

http://www.bible-reading.com/bible-plan.html

http://www.bible-reading.com/bible-plan.html

http://bible.crosswalk.com/?OVRAW=Bible%20Reading%20plans&OVKEY=bible%20reading%20plan&OVMTC=standard

Another approach that Richard Foster talks about in his book, Celebration of Discipline is to “take a smaller book like Ephesians or 1 John and read it through each day for a month. More than any single effort this will put the structure of the book into your mind. Read it through without trying to fit it into established categories. Expect to hear things in new ways. Keep a journal of your findings.”

I like what Eugene Peterson said about reading Scripture, “We open this book and find that page after page it takes us off guard, surprises us, and draws us into its reality, pulls us into participation with God on HIS terms.”

Have a great day reading the Bible!

Eat This Book 1

(OK, let's get this out of the way: it's been a month since my last post, forgive me. Also, credit for my titles this week goes to Eugene Peterson's wonderful book of the same title taken from the passage in Revelation 10.)

“The important thing is to begin”

These words came from a website designed to help people get moving, to get exercising. It was designed to help those who had not been active at all in their lives (because of weight or other health issues) and now they wanted to start. I got thinking…

This could apply to those of us that need a jump start in the discipline of Bible reading or Bible study. I am going to use this blog this week to offer help in getting started, recommitting to, or digging deeper in our studying of the Bible. This comes from my sermon from two weeks ago. Eastside readers you have a head-start on where I am coming from and where I’m headed with all of this.

Part one, today, is designed for those of us who are “getting started” (see bottom of this post). I am going to get us into the habit. Experts in the field of time management seem to agree (for the most part) that it takes 20-30 days to create a habit. One resource I found answered questions about forming a habit. The best question was the one that asked, “Why does it take 21 days to create a habit and only one to fall back into old patterns?” Unfortunately, there is some truth to that when it comes to the Spiritual disciplines. So, let’s get started; begin; read Scripture for all it’s worth (and more).

In tomorrow’s Part two, I am going to flood you with Bible reading plans from all over, plus a story from my life with scripture. Actually it’s my mother’s story but really her story with the Bible is my story.

On Wednesday, Part Three emphasizes reading with purpose. Take notes; ask questions.

In Part Four on Thursday I will list some helpful resources to have while studying and we’ll look at the discernment needed to use them. Remember, God has given scholarly gifts to other people too (and a lot of them are a whole lot smarter than you or I).

Finally, Part Five on Friday will deal with this question, “What kind of glasses are you wearing?” Don’t know what I mean? Well, you’ll have to wait until Friday!

Here’s something today to get us into (or back into) the Bible reading habit. It's called 20/20. It’s not original with me; I just can’t remember where I picked it up along the way (I think it was Reg Cox – seems like a good reference even if it wasn’t him). 20/20 basically means reading 20 minutes per day for 20 days, thus creating a habit. I’m even going to give you the bible verses to read. Some days it might not last the full 20 minutes. My recommendation here is to pray for the rest of your time about what you just read. Here goes, read on friends:

Day 1: Genesis 1 – 3
Day 2: Gen. 12:1-3, Exodus 20:1-21, Deut. 6:4-9
Day 3: Ruth
Day 4: Psalms 23, 51, 148
Day 5: Psalm 78:1-7, 86:1-13, 139
Day 6: Proverbs 3 & 4
Day 7: Isaiah 40 & 53
Day 8: Matthew 5 & 6
Day 9: Matthew 7 & 13
Day 10: John 14 & 15
Day 11: John 16 & 17
Day 12: Luke 22-24
Day 13: Acts 1-4
Day 14: Romans 1-3
Day 15: Romans 4-6
Day 16: Romans 7 & 8
Day 17: Philippians
Day 18: Hebrews 11
Day 19: James
Day 20: 1 Peter

... and minding my own business... and then- TAGGED!

For those of you among my plethora of readers that don't know what being tagged is, let me explain. I guess the easiest way to explain it is to say it is like the blog-world's equivalent of being Double-Dog Dared! Usually it involves sharing something in a list. Longtime friend and grad school roommate, Danny Sims was tagged to share "5 things people might not know about himself" and then he promptly tagged me. I don't think I've lived such an exciting life, but here goes, my 5 things people might not know about me:

1. I went to boarding school in Canada for high school. I know it sounds crazy in our day and age, but it's true. It wasn't an uppity-up type of school. It was a very poor school (the food was wretched - I had to rely on my brother and sister-in-law living in town to feed me sometimes). Although it wouldn't be an option for my kids, I wouldn't trade the experience for anything. It was so much fun and I had good memories there.

2. I play Badminton. Before you think outdoor-in-the-backyard badminton, let me set the record straight: it's a great sport! Watch the Olympics sometime! In high school (see above) I played in competitive tournaments (it's a British sport, so Canada latched onto it as well). I played a little in college with some professors at ACU. I have played a little here in the Springs since we moved here, but I don't play as much as I would like because of schedule conflicts. Really, if you are still laughing, believe me, it is a great sport.

3. I am a Classic Rock Trivia buff - go on, try me. I know a lot about that whole time in our western history (the 60's & 70's). This is a by-product of having older brothers. One went to college in the town where we lived and I was in elementary school. He used to bring home the Doors, The Who, Yes, and Pink Floyd records when they came out, and that became a part of my upbringing.

4. I almost drowned on my honeymoon. One word: Riptide. I had never been in that kind of situation before (we were in Cancun). Before I could think, I had two lungs full of salt water and was being pulled out into the Gulf of Mexico. Thankfully, the little local lifeguards pulled me in. Very scary. I would have left a very young widow.

5. I performed a wedding on a boat on Lake Travis in Texas. I was right out of grad school. I was doing part-time campus ministry in Austin, and we had a "walk-in" to our church one day wanting to know if a minister could do their wedding (it was a second marriage for both and they wanted something out of the ordinary). I was the only one with availability so I did it. It was a comedy of errors. The grooms mother was late (makes a sunset wedding difficult when it gets dark!). The boat was small with no guard rails on the upper deck: just chairs and - -off you go (come to think of it, this relates to number 4 above, because Laurie thought ew were going to die again!). Back the wedding. Anyone who is familiar with that area of Texas knows that when the sun goes down the wind picks up. Waves crashing into the boat, almost falling off the top, horrific singing, it was a definite memory for my first wedding. Every other wedding after that was downhill!

*** Bonus: I am in the credits of a movie. I'll tell you personally about that one if you want to know...

Hey, I get to tag people now - Livonia Theme: Rob, Dale, Brian, Kari, Phelps - If you see your name there, consider yourself tagged.