Wednesday, May 31, 2006

... About "Church-Hopping"


(NOTE: since nobody contributed with another thankless job from yesterday’s post, we are veering away from that on to more important things.)

It’s interesting what C.S. Lewis says about “church-hopping” 60+ years ago. I am all for finding a church where you can serve and use your gifts. I do not support searching until I find one that “suits” me. If you live anywhere outside of the “Bible Belt” there aren’t many options of where to go. You are “stuck with the people you are stuck with. You make it work. And sometimes (most times) you are the better for it.

[Screwtape the Demon]: If a man can't be cured of churchgoing, the next best thing is to send him all over the neighborhood looking for the church that "suits" him until he becomes a taster or connoisseur of churches. The reasons are obvious. In the first place the parochial organization should always be attacked, because, being a unity of place and not of likings, it brings people of different classes and psychology together in the kind of unity the Enemy desires. The congregational principle, on the other hand, makes each church into a kind of club, and finally, if all goes well, into a coterie or faction. In the second place, the search for a "suitable" church makes the man a critic where the Enemy wants him to be a pupil. (The Screwtape Letters, New York: Macmillan, 1942, XVI, 72-73)

Have a great day serving Him right where you are!


Tuesday, May 30, 2006

... About Thankless Jobs.1

(Sorry for the long layoff. No way to blog without interrupting an already full schedule. After we deal with today's topic fora few days, we'll move on to discussing some of the stuff I heard last wekk at my seminar.)

Thankless jobs. There are many. I encountered a few in my travels this week. One that tops the list is Airline Ticket Agent. When things are well for travelers, this person goes unnoticed; you don’t even know they are there. You may see their tired smile as they rip your boarding pass and send you on your merry way. But, when things are not going well for your flight, you notice them. They are the ones you see being yelled at. Take my week in the great flying adventure:

My problems included a weight restriction delay that ended up being a total re-schedule, to sitting on a runway for two hours waiting for weather to pass in Chicago, (which, as I am writing, is happening presently and I may end up missing my connecting flight home), to having to drop off a rental car at one airport while flying out of another.

When things go badly for flights, these people take the brunt of everyone’s anger. From my experience, there are just a few other things in life that people get more stressed-out over than when flying goes wrong. It’s an amazing transformation that people go through. You know how you look around at everyone flying with you – your flying companions and you wonder about who they are, what they do, where they are going (hey, I know I’m not the only one that does that!). You think: these seem like nice people. When things go badly flying, these quiet, unassuming people turn into whining, complaining bullies. I’ve seen this happen.

All the while, these Airline Ticket Agents take everything in stride, handle everybody’s requests, find new flights, give out vouchers, give out hotel vouchers and show people how to call for rides to these hotels, all usually with that same tired smile. It always amazes me how upset people get when things don’t exactly as planned. Sometimes I find myself getting frustrated; more so when traveling with my family (I guess I’m stressed out enough for them!). I try not to let it show to the people working, because I know this is not their fault.

I guess the purpose of my article today is to say thank you. Thank you to these people that toil on doing their thing while the world gets mad and complain. So, I guess since I just said thank you to them they are no longer involved in a totally thankless job. That is however until the next time a flight gets messed up and people start yelling anyway.

How about you? Anyone have another thankless job nominee? Let me know.

Friday, May 19, 2006

... about the Sermon on the Mount

This is my last blog before I go to Michigan for a minister's Seminar at Rochester College next week. I hope to blog remotely, but we'll see what kind of time I have. You know the usual stuff demands my time - coffee with fellow minister-types, golf with fellow minister-types, letting my sister-in-law cook for me...

The seminar is about preaching from the Sermon on the Mount. That can seem like a daunting task, taking Jesus most prolonged teaching text (and his most demanding) and finding what he would say to our culture and context. It should be worthwhile. I am preaching the Sermon on the Mount starting in August so I will be using what I gain here at this seminar. Here is a couple of excerpts from John Stott's work, in which he starts by giving a two-word summary phrase of the Sermon on the Mount : "Christian counterculture":

"For the essential theme of the whole Bible from beginning to end is that God's historical purpose is to call out a people for himself; that this people is a 'holy' people, set apart from the world to belong to him and to obey him; and that its vocation is to be true to its identity, that is, to be 'holy' or 'different' in all its outlook and behaviour." (p. 17)

"Thus the followers of Jesus are to be different--from both the nominal church and the secular world; different from both the religious and the irreligious. The Sermon on the Mount is the most complete delineation anywhere in the New Testament of the Christian counter-culture. Here is a Christian value-system, ethical standard, religious devotion, attitude to money, ambition, life-style and networkd of relationships--all of which are totally at variance with those of the non-Christian world. And this Christian counter-culture is the life of the kingdom of God, a fully human life indeed but lived out under divine rule."

Have a great weekend! I will try to blog from Michigan, letting you all in on some of the great stuff I am learning!

Thursday, May 18, 2006

... 100 posts already? Wow!


I just noticed as I opened up my main menu for Blogger that four posts ago was my 100th. Why, it just seems like yesterday... I just wanted to say: Thanks for reading! I've really enjoyed this way of communicating for a number of reasons:

1. It gives something constructive to do in the middle of the night when I can't sleep (rather than watch classic TV reruns).

2. It provides an outlet for my sometimes wacky sense of humor.

3. It is a good challenge to write something daily. I like the challenge.

4. I guess I'll be honest here: it's kind of cool when you see that at least one person has actually read something you've written.

Here's an excerpt from my first blog-attempt. I figure it is always good to be reminded that we're on a journey to discovering God and knowing him. Keep on traveling on that road with me(for at least another 100 posts anyway!). Thanks for reading!

The way I see it is God intended us to find Him, not ourselves. I don't tend to find out anything good when I "discover" things about myself (cuz it's usually stuff I need to change about me!). Discovering me is no great task: I'm fallen, I need Him. Period. God wants us to travel down the road of God-discovery. And what an amazing find it is once we have "discovered" Him!

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

... what is ParentSpeak?

Given that last Sunday was Mother's Day and Father's Day is around the corner, it seems appropriate to fill everyone in on some ParentSpeak definitions:

AMNESIA: condition that enables a woman who has gone through labor to have kids again.

DROOLING: how teething babies wash their chins.

FEEDBACK: the inevitable result when a baby doesn't appreciate the strained carrots.

FULL NAME: what you call your child when you're mad at him.

GRANDPARENTS: the people who think your children are perfect even though they're sure you're not raising them right.

HEARSAY: what toddlers do when anyone mutters a bad word.

OWWW: the first word spoken by children with older siblings.

PRENATAL: when your life was still somewhat your own.

PUDDLE: a small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes.

STERILIZE: what you do to your first baby's pacifier by boiling it and to your last baby's pacifier by blowing on it.

TOP BUNK: where you should never put a child wearing Superman jammies.

WHOOPS: an exclamation that translates roughly into "get a mop."

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

... who runs studies like this?


Not much to think about today on ye old blog. But this piece may explain a lot…

More than 60 percent of Britons use items such as screwdrivers, scissors and earrings to remove food from between their teeth, according to a survey published Friday.

The National Dental Survey found that, when it came to oral hygiene, people used whatever was close to hand to pick their teeth. More than 60 percent questioned by the British Dental Health Foundation said they used makeshift items, including knives, keys, needles and forks.

The survey also found that 23 percent of people chose to leave food stuck between their teeth, increasing the risk of gum disease and bad breath, according to the foundation which promotes oral health.


Monday, May 15, 2006

... would someone please listen to me?!?

I had someone in my office the other day that was helping a friend through a crisis. They wanted to know what to do. I told them to listen. They weren’t quite satisfied with that answer; they wanted me to give them some helpful information that they could share with their friend. I repeated myself and added this: Listening is underrated, underappreciated, and under-used. Well, then I had to explain what I am trying to explain with rest of today’s blog.

Listening is underrated, underappreciated, and under-used. I know this from experience. One of the first things you learn in any counseling or therapy graduate degree program is how to listen. If you do not learn that, you will not do well helping people. Wait, you say, isn’t a counselor or therapist supposed to be the great purveyor of helpful information for people? Well, yes, possibly. That MAY end up being helpful at some point in the whole therapy experience, BUT it does not begin there. Where it all begins is with the ability to listen and convey that you are listening. It builds a therapeutic environment that in turn allows you to help. Listening sets the stage for everything else. Why am I telling everyone all of this? I truly believe that:


  1. We all need to listen more and talk less (especially talk about ourselves). See James 1:19 for a reference.

  2. We all could improve our listening skills (yes it is a skill and ability).

  3. Being a better listener will improve every relationship we have – marriage, parent-child, friend, co-worker, church…

  4. To listen well is cherish a relationship enough to value what another is saying.

  5. We need to listen to God more (just a plug for some future writings about how God speaks).

OK, now that we’ve established these things, what do we do? Practice. Yes, practice. You only improve at something in our world by practice. I have spent years doing that on driving ranges and golf courses (with relatively small improvements), even taking lessons last year. At the conclusion of my last lesson, the last thing my golf teacher told me was: practice these things.

Listening is no different and there are many ways to practice. I am going to share one today. The first week of my grad program we had to gather up our tape recorders (this was 1986 – no video training in every room yet), and pair off with someone in our class every week and practice. We usually role-played some problem about why would be coming to someone for help. The main goal though was not to help, but to listen. Here’s the how-to part. Person #1 would begin talking and go through a pretty lengthy description of something, and then Person #2 would do this:

“______________ (insert person’s name), I hear you saying you are feeling _______________ (insert feeling word) because ______________ (insert quick synopsis of the event that happened, the descriptive stuff from what the other person was saying)”.

Do you get this? If Person #2 is not properly listening to Person #1 here, the feedback will be way off. And is there anything more frustrating than not being heard? This is called a number of things in the counseling world: reflective listening, empathic listening… What it does though, is convey back to the person that shared themselves a sense that they were valued because someone listened to them. After that, whatever you offer that may or may not helpful will at least be received more openly because you listened.

“You cannot truly listen to anyone and do anything else at the same time.”
- M. Scott Peck

Thursday, May 11, 2006

...about posting some more Nouwen quotes

A few more Nouwen quotes for the end of this week. Toward the end of his life, after living in the L’Arche community in Canada, Nouwen wrote extensively about “living in community”. What that meant for him is found in the second quote.

"I believe you can look at solitude, community, and ministry as three disciplines by which we create space for God. If we create space in which God can act and speak, something surprising will happen. You and I are called to these disciplines if we want to be disciples."

“The word community has many connotations, some positive, some negative. Community can make us think of a safe togetherness, shared meals, common goals, and joyful celebrations. It also can call forth images of sectarian exclusivity, in-group language, self-satisfied isolation, and romantic naiveté. However, community is first of all a quality of the heart. It grows from the spiritual knowledge that we are alive not for ourselves but for one another. Community is the fruit of our capacity to make the interests of others more important than our own (see Philippians 2:4). The question, therefore, is not "How can we make community?" but "How can we develop and nurture giving hearts?"

“My hope is that the description of God’s love in my life will give you the freedom and the courage to discover . . . God’s love in yours.”

Have a great weekend. Next week we will choose another of my favorite authors to pick quotes from.

... about prayer


More Nouwen quotes today. This time about the prayer of the heart. Back in the time not so long after the first century church there were a number of religious folk that left society to concentrate on living a pure life and writing about. That’s as simple of a definition as I can give for the Writings of the Desert Fathers. In his book, The Way of the Heart, Nouwen quotes from these writings and more recent sources in order to try and find some benefit for us from their insights. Here are some passages from the section on prayer:

We find the best formulation of the prayer of the heart in the words of the Russian mystic Theophan the Recluse: “To pray is to descend with the mind into the heart, and there to stand before the face of the Lord, ever-present, all-seeing, within you.” (I love that)

Thus the prayer of the heart is the prayer of truth. It unmasks the illusions about ourselves and about God and leads us into true relationship of the sinner to the merciful God. To the degree that this truth anchors itself in our heart, we will be less distracted by worldly thoughts and more single-mindedly directed toward the Lord of both our heart and the universe. Thus the words of Jesus, “Happy the pure in heart: they shall see God” (Matthew 5:8), will become real in our prayer. Temptations and struggles will remain to the end of our lives, but with a pure heart we will be restful in the midst of a restless existence.







Wednesday, May 10, 2006

... about how my friends have helped me

Here’s another quote from Henri Nouwen:

No two friends are the same. Each has his or her own gift for us. When we expect one friend to have all we need, we will always be hypercritical, never completely happy with what he or she does have. One friend may offer us affection, another may stimulate our minds, and another may strengthen our souls. The more able we are to receive the different gifts our friends have to give us; the more able we will be to offer our own unique but limited gifts. Thus, friendships create a beautiful tapestry of love...

As I look back on the many and varied friendships I have had (and continue to have) in my life, this explains it very well. each have known me at a particular time in my life. Some have helped without knowing me barely at all. Some I have known almost my entire life and I trust them implicitly. I call it a wealth of friendships for I am a very rich man because of them.

There is a warning in his first paragraph about relying on one person to fill all our needs. He says we will never be happy. I say it is toxic, like breathing all of the air in one air-tight room. You’re left with no more air and…

But, there is also encouragement here. Nouwen wants us to see that woven together, these many and varied friends will create something beautiful, in us! We can also see how we contribute, in our own inadequate way, to someone else’s tapestry. All I can say is: thank you friends for helping to shape and mold me over the years.

Tuesday, May 09, 2006

... how we experience silence?

Yesterday I shared about Henri Nouwen’s life. Just a short quote today from The Way of the Heart, which I mentioned yesterday, was extremely helpful to me. Solitude and silence we don’t talk about much. He started me on a journey to understanding what all that meant.

SOLITUDE - "In solitude we become compassionate people, deeply aware of our solidarity in brokenness with all of humanity and ready to reach out to anyone in need . . ."

SILENCE - "Silence first makes us pilgrims. Secondly, silence guards the fire within. Thirdly, silence teaches us how to speak . . ."

PRAYER - "Prayer, when we are faithful to it and practice it at regular times, slowly leads us to an experience of rest and opens us to God's active presence . . ."

What do you think?



Monday, May 08, 2006

... if I could share some of my favorite writers




I want to spend this week’s posts letting you in on one of my favorite authors. Today, an abbreviated (I know, you still think its long) life story; the rest of week, excerpts from his writings with my own thoughts added. I have read Henri Nouwen’s, The Way of the Heart many times over since it was given to me by my campus minister Steve Hare 20 years ago. It deals with silence, solitude, and prayer - definitely stuff I needed to concentrate on at that time (and many times afterward).

The internationally renowned priest and author, respected professor and beloved pastor Henri Nouwen wrote over 40 books on the spiritual life. He corresponded regularly in English, Dutch, German, French and Spanish with hundreds of friends and reached out to thousands through his lectures and retreats. Nouwen’s books have sold over 2 million copies and been published in over 22 languages.

Born in Nijkerk, Holland, on January 24, 1932, he was ordained in 1957 as a diocesan priest and studied psychology at the Catholic University of Nijmegen. In 1964 he moved to the United States to study at the Menninger Clinic. He went on to teach at the University of Notre Dame, and the Divinity Schools of Yale and Harvard. For several months during the 1970s, Nouwen lived and worked with the Trappist monks in the Abbey of the Genesee, and in the early 1980s he lived with the poor in Peru.

Nouwen began to discover the difference between being productive and being fruitful. Having succeeded in the academic world where productivity was an expectation, he discovered the pain and joy of caring for people who might previously have been thought of as useless. He found that even the most severely disabled person could be fruitful and also minister to him. Henri was attracted to the extreme vulnerability and honesty of the disabled community. Nothing was hidden and everything was exposed. Feelings were always openly displayed and they ranged from open anger to unconditional love. It was to these people that he was called and it was these people that he was to embrace, comfort and love. Further, these were the people that were going to bring him the words from God that he was to bring to others in his writing. They were to be his teachers and he was to bring their message to the average Christian.

In December 1985, Nouwen received a 'call' to become part of the Daybreak L'Arche community in Toronto Canada. In August 1986, Nouwen joined the Daybreak community, living and working with six disabled people and their assistants. Nouwen was to remain here until his death in 1996. The journey was not an easy one for Nouwen. He no longer could rely on his books, his lectures or his reputation as the foundations for his self identity. He was among people who had never read his books, for whom his lectures meant nothing and who had never heard about him. What was important for them was whether he loved them.

Nouwen was helped into a new self identity through the witness of a severely disabled man, Adam Arnett. Nouwen realized, as he cared for this man every day, that Adam was being used by God to minister to him. Through Adam's vulnerability and reliance on others, God was showing Nouwen what it meant to be led where he did not want to go. Henri learnt about passivity and reliance on God. Henri continued writing, publishing fifteen books in his years at Daybreak. It was however the pastoral work and not the writing that came first. He continued to travel, albeit much less frequently than before, but his travels took him all over the world.
En route to Russia to do a documentary about Rembrandt's painting of the Prodigal Son, Nouwen suffered a heart attack in The Netherlands. He died on Saturday, September 21, 1996. There were two funeral services, one in Utrecht, The Netherlands, and the other near Daybreak. Nouwen is buried in King City, close to his beloved Daybreak community.

(Above bio obtained from two sources: http://www.henrinouwen.org/ & http://www.nouwen.org.za/)




Thursday, May 04, 2006

... about what I could build out of LEGO blocks today!


(I loved LEGO as a kid; lived vicariously through Cameron as we built stuff together when he was younger; I still think about putting blocks together sometimes… Below is an excerpt from an article from Heartlight by Alan Smith. The original article is by Steve Klusmeyer.)

Also, I wish we would have had all of the "theme" LEGO stuff when I was a kid, like Star Wars!


Life might be less complicated for all of us if we each received our own LEGO kit at birth. Yes, I realize there is a choking hazard for children under three. But when you are old enough, you can learn a lot from LEGO. I have learned that:

Size doesn't matter. When stepped on in the dark, a 2X2 LEGO brick causes the same amount of pain as a 2X8 brick.

All LEGO men are created equal (1.5625 inches tall). What they become is limited only by imagination.

There is strength in numbers. When the bricks stick together, great things can be accomplished.

Playtime is important. Sometimes it doesn't matter what you are building, as long as you're having fun.

Disaster happens. But the pieces can be put back together again.

Every brick has a purpose. Some are made for a specific spot - most can adapt almost anywhere - but every one will fit somewhere.

Color doesn't matter. A blue brick will fit in the same space as a red brick.

No one is indispensable. If one brick is unavailable, another can take its place.

It doesn't always turn out as planned. Sometimes it turns out better. If it doesn't, you can always try again.

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

... about how we got this far?


(This is from Reuters News Wire - I just have one thing to say: Are you kidding me?)

An Italian restaurant was fined 688 euros ($855) for displaying live lobsters on ice to attract patrons, in an innovative application of an anti-cruelty law usually affecting to household pets.
A court in the northeastern city of Vicenza ruled the display was a form of abuse dooming the crustaceans to a slow death by suffocation.

"We're appealing," said Giuseppe Scalesia, who runs La Conchiglia D'Oro, or "Golden Shell," restaurant along with his brother Camillo.
"They said that the lobsters, laying on the ice, suffer... They compared them in court to other animals, like cats and dogs."
The case was brought by Gianpaolo Cecchetto, a former environmental activist, who took his two young children to the Vicenza restaurant in May 2002.
"They were shocked by the display," Cecchetto told Reuters, adding he immediately got in touch with the ENPA national animal protection entity. "ENPA took care of the lawyers and legal proceedings."

Italy has some of the world's toughest animal rights laws. The city of Rome in October banned goldfish bowls, seen as cruel, while Turin passed a law last year that would fine dog owners 500 euros unless they walked their canine friends at least three times a day.

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

... about the kingdom of God?

More thoughts from Brian McLaren's new book, The Secret Message of Jesus.

The Greek phrase John uses for “eternal life” literally means “life of the ages” as opposed, I think we could, to “life as people are living it these days.” So John’s related phrases – eternal life, life to the full, and simply life – give us a unique angle on what Jesus mean t by kingdom of God: a life that is radically different from the way people are living these days, a life that is full and overflowing, a higher life that is centered in an interactive relationship with God and with Jesus
(And, as McLaren says earlier in this chapter, it most likely does not mean “life in heaven after you die” which is what most of us have believed that he is saying).

McLaren goes on to say: Let’s render it simply “an extraordinary life to the full centered in a relationship with God.” He says that he is not entirely satisfied with this definition but it causes one to think about the ramifications of this point of view. It causes us, possibly, to change our perceptions of Jesus teaching, especially the implications for us. But what a definition for us to use to describe a life lived in the kingdom of God! How does this definition change how we live for him, NOW? How can this change who we are now?


Monday, May 01, 2006

... why so many questions, Jesus?

More thoughts from the Secret Message of Jesus by Brian McLaren: The more I read the more questions I have. It’s an invigorating and sometimes frustrating experience. Mostly invigorating though, which means refreshing, stimulating, and revitalizing, by the way. One of McLaren’s ideas is that Jesus’ message was less like an advertising slogan – obvious and loud - and “more like a poem whose meaning only comes subtly and quietly to those who read slowly, think long and deeply, and refuse to give up”. I love that. It makes me want to read Jesus’ words differently from now on.

The most fascinating part I am reading now deals with why Jesus didn’t just speak in plain terms for folks coming to him (Nicodemus, woman at the well, rich young ruler). McLaren said that he has asked himself those questions for a long time. "In conversation after conversation, there’s hardly ever a question that he simply answers; instead, his answer comes in the form of a question, or it turns into a story, or it is full of metaphors that invite more questions.”

McLaren goes on to say: “I’ve asked my self questions like these for years now. I’ve read and reread the stories. I’ve consulted commentary after commentary and listened to more than my share of sermons and lectures. Frankly, few experts seem to even notice this pattern of unclarity, of hiddenness, of secrecy – and those who do tend to offer answers that don’t ring true, for me anyway.

What could possibly be the benefit of Jesus’ hiddenness, intrigue, lack of clarity, metaphor, and answering questions with questions? Why risk being misunderstood – or not understood at all? If the message is so important, why hide it in evocative rather than technical language?

For McLaren, he is becoming convinced that Jesus did this in order create “real” followers; ones who would follow him anywhere that his message might take them. Stay tuned tomorrow for a discussion of the very biblical phrase “kingdom of God”, what that meant then, and what it could possibly mean for us now.