Wednesday, May 17, 2006

... what is ParentSpeak?

Given that last Sunday was Mother's Day and Father's Day is around the corner, it seems appropriate to fill everyone in on some ParentSpeak definitions:

AMNESIA: condition that enables a woman who has gone through labor to have kids again.

DROOLING: how teething babies wash their chins.

FEEDBACK: the inevitable result when a baby doesn't appreciate the strained carrots.

FULL NAME: what you call your child when you're mad at him.

GRANDPARENTS: the people who think your children are perfect even though they're sure you're not raising them right.

HEARSAY: what toddlers do when anyone mutters a bad word.

OWWW: the first word spoken by children with older siblings.

PRENATAL: when your life was still somewhat your own.

PUDDLE: a small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes.

STERILIZE: what you do to your first baby's pacifier by boiling it and to your last baby's pacifier by blowing on it.

TOP BUNK: where you should never put a child wearing Superman jammies.

WHOOPS: an exclamation that translates roughly into "get a mop."

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