Friday, December 02, 2005

Laws of Golf, Part Deux...


I'm hanging outdoor Christmas lights today, so here's the rest of these rather than writing something original. Hey, it's my day off! I'm already doing a "honey-do" as it is!




LAW 11:
Golf carts always run out of juice at the farthest point from the clubhouse.
LAW 12:
A golfer hitting into your group will always be bigger than anyone in your group. Likewise, a group you accidentally hit into will consist of a football player, a professional wrestler, a convicted murderer and an IRS agent -- or some similar combination.
LAW 13:
All 3-woods are demon-possessed.
LAW 14:
Golf balls from the same "sleeve" tend to follow one another, particularly out of bounds or into the water (See Law three).
LAW 15:
A severe slice is a thing of awesome power and beauty.
LAW 16:
"Nice lag" can usually be translated to "lousy putt." Similarly, "tough break" can usually be translated "way to miss an easy one, sucker."
LAW 17:
The person you would most hate to lose to will always be the one who beats you.
LAW 18:
The last three holes of a round will automatically adjust your score to what it really should be.
LAW 19:
Golf should be given up at least twice per month.
LAW 20:
All vows taken on a golf course shall be valid only until the sunset.

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